Red Roses, White Lies
by MLaw
Summary: Illya is up to some mischief the day after Valentine's. pre-saga.


apoleon walked into his office, drawing his partner's immediate attention by what he was carrying, a long narrow white box. Of course Kuryakin was curious and asked what it was.

"Long stem roses and I was damn lucky I got them, it being the day after Valentine's day."

"I thought you swore off giving gifts for Valentine's day; it caused too many problems among the ummm, masses," Illya cocked his head, giving Napoleon a sly look.

"Well yes but, this is for a special lady, you know Jennifer Bondar that really cute blonde. I had to cancel our date on Saturday night as I didn't want it to be misconstrued that I was taking her out for the holiday."

"Oh how very thoughtful of you," the Russian snickered.

"I thought so." Napoleon countered his partner's snarky remark. He opened the box, showing Illya the beautiful red roses wrapped in tissue."A dozen of these puppies and you have no idea what they cost me."

"Oh I would suspect it was about ten dollars as that is what you borrowed from me."

"Well," Napoleon blushed,"I was a little short and thanks for the loan by the way. I was expecting things to be half off the day after Valentine's day but apparently that's only true of chocolates and not flowers. Jennifer doesn't eat chocolate as it gives her hives.

"Unlucky for you, for once. I added the ten dollars to your tab." Illya moved the tissue aside; peeking again at the roses. "You are giving Jennifer Bondar red roses?" He clicked his tongue.

"Didn't I just allude to that and what's wrong with doing it?"

"Well she is Ukrainian by ancestry and there red roses convey a simple message of 'I love you.' Is that what you wish to say to her?"

"Well, ummm, no not really not in that sense. I like her alot and I do want to see her again."

"Perhaps you should give her _**white**_ roses as they signify truth and innocence. They also represent secrecy, and charm. You can use them to say, ' _You are heavenly,'_ that is a bit less intense. Or you could present her with light pink roses as they suggest fun. They also convey admiration and appreciation."

Solo huffed. "Now what am I going to do? I don't want to give her the wrong message?"

"That is your problem my friend."

"Hey you wouldn't know where I could get a can of white spray paint would you?"

" _Napoleon!"_

Solo turned sheepish as he knew what he had to do.

"Illya can I borrow another ten dollars from you? I swear I'll pay you back on Friday when we get paid."

"For what now may I ask?"

"I need to go find some white and fast. I'm supposed to meet Jennifer for coffee at the French style bistro on 39th Street around lunch time."

Kuryakin reached into his pocket and grabbed his money clip, tossing it to his partner. "Take twenty and buy her a nice lunch, but just make sure you pay me back by Friday," Illya warned.

"Scout's honor tovarisch, I promise, and thanks!" Napoleon dashed through the office door; the money in hand.

Illya calmly closed up the box of red roses, and whistling contentedly he headed out into the corridor and took the elevator up to Waverly's Conference room.

The door opened with a swish, and he entered.

"Mr. Waverly sir, I was able to procure those roses you wanted," he set the box on the table and opened it.

"Excellent Mr. Kuryakin. You are indeed a life saver. I'm going home to Connecticut and wouldn't want to disappoint my wife. I've never missed giving her red roses for Valentine's Day in all these years, but with all this nonsense going on with THRUSH and their latest scheme to drain the Great Lakes...well, needless to say I've been distracted."

"I understand sir," Illya turned to leave.

"Mr. Kuryakin, what do I owe you?" Waverly took out his billfold.

"Oh no sir nothing," he waved his hand,

"Don't be ridiculous, I know roses are sold at a premium right now. Though UNCLE pays you well enough; you are no Rockefeller."

Illya felt embarrassed, but daren't tell the Old Man where he'd gotten the flowers. "They were, ummm... ten dollars sir."

"Tsk, highway robbery what the florists charge around holidays, wot? A dozen roses should cost no more that seven." He offered the ten spot to the Russian.

"Yes. If that will be all sir?"

"Indeed it is and thank you again young man. I don't know if my Estelle would _**forgive**_ me if I showed up without them."

Illya nodded and disappeared out the door, holding up the ten dollar bill.

He felt a little guilty but supposed in the long run it would come in handy as as he knew it would be a long time before Napoleon actually paid back the money he owed him...


End file.
